I have a major problem: I can’t dance.
Oh, I can bust out a serious foxtrot when the need arises, using my actual real-life people feet, but I can’t for the life of me [Safety Dance] with that damnable, damnable, damnable Heigan in Naxxramas.
Every single time it starts, I say to myself: “You’re a physicist. You get paid to understand this stuff. You can sure as hell do it in WoW, dammit.”
And then I wipe the raid.
I’m appalled at myself but unable to curb the self-destructive tendencies. As a player, I’m enchanted at the challenge, but as a member of a larger group I’ve become the Heigan-pariah, Unclean By Association. I’ve never finished Naxx because- for obvious reasons- no one will let me go with them. Server PUGs, initially seduced by my gear score and enthusiasm for the Plague Wing of Naxx, have learned the bitter lesson that I am not to be trusted.
YouTube videos have been viewed. Diagrams have been consulted. I’ve cut out those paper feet and pasted them on my screen with associated arrows indicating when I must proc haste and when I must do-si-do. Nothing, and I mean nothing, seems to clear this mental block.
I tried once again last night with nine other people who now hate me, and I finally realized that I need professional help.
Can you help me, gentle reader? Teach me to dance!